Why Your Customers Don’t Want What You’re Selling (And How to Fix It)
February 7th, 2025 - CJFP 15
Let’s start with a question that sounds like a Zen koan:
What if desire isn’t something your customers have, it’s something they are?
Forget demographics, psychographics, or TikTok trends for a moment. The most powerful force in marketing isn’t an algorithm or a viral hook. It’s the 3-pound universe inside your customer’s skull, governed by primal wants, unconscious drives, and a lifelong pursuit of something they can’t quite name.
This isn’t woo-woo philosophy. It’s psychoanalysis 101. And if you learn to speak its language, you’ll stop chasing fleeting trends and start shaping the stories people tell themselves about who they are and who they could become.
Part 1: Desire 101 (Or, Why Your Customer’s Brain is a Shapeshifting Paradox)
Freud gets all the pop culture credit, but it’s Jacques Lacan, the French psychoanalyst who turned desire into a verb, who gives marketers the real playbook. His core insight?
Desire isn’t about getting what you want. It’s about wanting what you can’t have.
Think of desire as a river. Most marketers stand downstream, frantically fishing for customers with bait like “limited-time offers” or “10% off.” But Lacan would tell you to go upstream, to the source where desire is born. Here’s what you’d find:
The “Objet Petit A” Effect
Lacan’s term for the unattainable “thing” that forever dances just beyond our reach. It’s not a product. It’s the fantasy of what that product represents: status, safety, belonging, or reinvention (hello, universal desires!).
→ Marketing translation: Apple doesn’t sell phones. It sells a membership card to the “creative class.”The Gap That Never Closes
Desire thrives in the space between reality and fantasy, a “felt contradiction” that gnaws at us. Close that gap (e.g., “Buy this and you’ll finally be happy!”), and desire evaporates.
→ Marketing translation: Nike’s “Just Do It” works because it’s a mantra, not a guarantee. It keeps the dream of “better” alive indefinitely.The Unconscious Script
Lacan argued we’re all trapped in a “symbolic order,” a web of cultural narratives, family dynamics, and social hierarchies that dictate what we think we want. Even our “rational” choices are often post-hoc justifications for unconscious drives.
→ Marketing translation: Luxury brands like Rolex don’t sell watches. They sell permission to say, “I belong here.”
Part 2: The Freudian Slip-Up Most Marketers Make (And How to Fix It)
Here’s where things get messy. Most brands make two fatal errors:
Error #1: They confuse “wants” with “desires.”
Wants are surface-level (“I need a new blender”). Desires are existential (“I want to feel like the kind of person who makes healthy smoothies every morning”).
Error #2: They trust self-reported data.
Big mistake. As psychoanalysts learned decades ago, people rationalize decisions they don’t understand. Ever heard a customer say, “I bought this Porsche because of its fuel efficiency”? Exactly.
Let’s break this down with a case study you know too well:
The Peloton Paradox
In 2019, Peloton’s infamous ad (the one with the “terrified” wife) flopped because it focused on the product (a bike) instead of the desire (to be seen as disciplined, affluent, and in control). By 2023, they pivoted hard into lifestyle fantasy, showing toned millennials meditating in sun-drenched studios. Result? A 300% stock rebound.
The lesson?
People don’t buy products. They buy permission slips to become a slightly shinier version of themselves.
Part 3: The Marketer’s Field Guide to Desire-Driven Storytelling
Ready to turn psychoanalysis into profit? Here’s your playbook:
Tactic 1: Speak to the “Shadow Self”
Carl Jung taught us that every customer has a hidden “shadow” self, the part they repress to fit societal norms. Tap into it.
→ Example: Oatly’s “It’s like milk, but made for humans” campaign. It’s not about lactose intolerance. It’s about rebellion against industrial food systems.
Tactic 2: Weaponize the “Fantasy Gap”
Lacan’s “lack” is your best friend. Use storytelling to widen the gap between your customer’s current reality and their idealized self.
→ Example: Airbnb’s “Live There” campaign didn’t show hotels. It showed belonging, a fantasy of slipping into a local’s life.
Tactic 3: Hijack the “Symbolic Order”
Remember: Your customer’s desires are shaped by cultural narratives. Align your brand with a story bigger than your product.
→ Example: Patagonia’s “Don’t Buy This Jacket” ad. By attacking consumerism, they became the symbol of anti-consumerism (while selling jackets).
Tactic 4: Negative Copywriting 101
Sometimes, desire is born from fear. As Lacan noted, the unconscious mind often organizes itself around avoiding pain.
→ Example: Slack’s early messaging: “Stop drowning in email. Work simpler, faster, better.” They didn’t sell features, they sold relief.
Tactic 5: Feed the “Curiosity Gap”
People will expend resources to fill knowledge voids. Use semiotics (symbols, colors, cultural codes) to tease what’s missing.
→ Example: Duolingo’s daily streaks tap into our obsession with unfinished goals, a modern-day “Zeigarnik effect.”
Part 4: The Hegelian Twist (Or, Why Your Customer’s Brain is at War With Itself)
Let’s bring in the big guns. Hegel, a philosopher who inspired Lacan, argued that desire is a battleground. Every choice we make is shaped by a “cunning of reason” where larger social forces (status games, cultural norms) play out through individual actions.
What does this mean for marketers?
Your campaigns need to acknowledge both sides of the brain:
The Lizard Brain: “I want immediate gratification!” (Think: dopamine-driven impulse buys.)
The Professor Brain: “But I should make responsible choices!” (Think: post-purchase guilt.)
The fix? Position your product as the mediator.
→ Example: Liquid Death’s genius positioning: “Murder your thirst.” It’s water (responsible) packaged as rebellion (gratification).
Part 5: The Unconscious Toolkit (Neuromarketing Cheat Codes)
Want to hack the unconscious? Here’s what the pros use:
Processing Fluency
Our brains prefer what’s easy to process. Use symmetry, contrast, and repetition (Coca-Cola’s script logo) to reduce cognitive friction.Loss Aversion Framing
“Don’t miss out” beats “Get this now” every time. Spotify’s “Your 2024 Wrapped” works because it threatens FOMO, not FOMI (Fear of Missing Inaction).Metamodern Optimism
Blend irony and sincerity to resonate with Gen Z. See: Ryanair’s self-deprecating Twitter roasts.
4 Actionable Takeaways (No Psychoanalysis Degree Required)
Map the Fantasy, Not the Feature
Before writing a single word of copy, ask: What existential itch does this product scratch? (Pro tip: It’s never the product itself.)Become a “Myth Maker”
People don’t remember logos or taglines, they remember stories that mirror their inner conflicts. Build your brand around a modern myth (e.g., Under Armour’s “Rule Yourself” = the myth of self-mastery).Embrace the “Unclosed Loop”
Lacan was right: Satisfaction kills desire. Design campaigns that keep the fantasy alive (e.g., Tesla’s “Full Self-Driving” beta, always almost ready).Test Like a Neuroscientist
Ditch focus groups. Use implicit association tests or EEG to measure non-conscious responses. (Most customers can’t articulate why they crave your product, their pupils dilating don’t lie.)
Final Thought
Marketing isn’t about filling gaps, it’s about widening them.
The best campaigns don’t sell solutions. They sell beautiful, aching questions: Who could you be? What are you missing? How much longer will you settle?
So here’s my challenge to you: Stop trying to satisfy your customers. Start haunting them.
Ethically, of course.
Until next time, stay fresh.
- Casey